爱彩乐
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爱彩乐 www.aandj-online.com   GCE English Language Coursework Exemplars AS(全球教育运动英语课程范本)

  作业截图

澳际国际学校

  Moderator’s Commentary(老师评价)

  This is a very strong submission including two highly effective texts. The journalism interview is an exceptionally well-written piece. The tone is informal and colloquial (‘what’s to get?’) but entirely appropriate. Further evidence of journalistic skill is the way the facts and statistics about game shooting are deftly and skilfully brought into the text without losing the reader’s interest. The ending of the piece is masterful and shows that the candidate has real journalistic flair.

  The Dramatic Monologue is also an extremely effective piece of writing. The speaker has a distinctive voice which creates the impression of a person with a specific social and cultural background. The candidate knows how dramatic irony works and as the monologue unfolds the audience becomes increasingly aware of the bleakness and desperation which lies behind the character’s apparent jollity. The use of vocabulary typical of a British teenage girl dramatise the girl’s vulnerability and bring out the poignancy of her situation. The only criticism that might be levelled is that the candidate could have given more thought to the actual staging of the monologue.

  The commentaries vary in achievement. The commentary on the interview is a perceptive overview of the creative process giving an insightful account of how the piece was constructed. The commentary on the monologue is a model of precision and brevity. It is almost a tutorial in how to create character through speech representation, commenting on a range of key constituents including lexis, grammar, register and paralinguistic features. The only place it falls short is that it doesn’t make any specific reference to stimulus texts which is a requirement for A02 in the commentary.

  Moderator’s marks(分数)

  AO1: 5+5 =10

  AO2: 5+5 =10

  AO4: 20+19 =39

  Commentary(说明):

  AO1:10 + AO2: 7=17

  Total: 76

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